Movie Spoilers: The Entire List!
Cybertronics creates a robot who can love and sells it (david)
to a family who has a son but is frozen cause hes in a coma. Monica (mom
in family) finally accepts David and programs him to love them, then
Martin (son that was in coma)wakes up and is unfrozen. Martin makes
david do stuff which makes monica take david and leave him in the
forest. He gets picked up by poeple who hate robots. Grabs another robot
named Joe and escapes. They go to a city named rouge. They ask a
computer where the blue fairy lives so that it can make david into a
real boy. The computer says it lives in mannhatten. David and joe go to
mannhatten. Joe gets cuaght by police. David Goes in a submarine to
coney island which at the time is under water. Parks the submarine in
front of a statue of the blue fairy. Says "Will you please make me into
a real boy?" over and over, for 2,000 years. Water freezes. Aliens came
and unfreeze david, and look at his memory. They create a home for him
and bring monica back for a day. At the end of the day monica dies, david cries
and then falls asleep.
After being exposed to the face hugger, Kane dies having a
baby alien rip through his stomach in a disturbing scene. The rest of
the crew (Dallas, Ripley, Brett, Parker, Lambert, Ash) decide to hunt it
down and kill it. But soon Brett is killed. Then Dallas goes through a
heating duct only to be captured by the alien. Soon Ash snaps and
Parker bashes his head in and we find out he's an android. Parker and
Lambert get supplies when the alien finds them. Parker tries to stop but
is killed. Lambert panics and is killed as well. With Ripley by
herself she grabs the cat and gets onto the escape ship. The bigger
ship explodes in a very cool sequence. Alone on the escape pod, the
Alien attacks her. She shoots it out and uses the engines to blow into
Colonel Frank Fitz (Chris Cooper) finds a tape that his son
Ricky took of Lester (Kevin Spacey) working out in the nude. Ricky took
it because he thought it was bizarre, but Frank thinks his son is gay.
He later witnesses Ricky with Lester. Ricky is rolling a joint for
Lester, who is lying on a couch, but from Franks point of view, Ricky
seems to be going down on Lester. Ricky returns home and is attacked by
Frank who accuses him of being gay. Seeing his chance to leave for good,
Ricky says that he is and Frank kicks him out. Frank leaves and goes to
get Jane (Thora Birch) and she agrees to go to New York with him. Angela
(Mena Suvari) and Jane argue and Ricky makes her see that she is a
normal person who is completely ordinary. Meanwhile, Carolyn (Annette
Benning) is returning home. Lester caught her cheating on him. Seeing
that she has nothing to use against him, she decides the only way out is
to shoot him. Lester is working in the garage, when he is confronted !
by Frank. Frank attempts to kiss him, but Lester shoots him down. Frank
leaves. Lester goes into the house, where he finds Angela crying her
eyes out. At first, he tries to comfort her, but soon they are on the
couch, about to have sex. Suddenly, Lester realises how dumb his actions
are, and stops. He decides to hold a decent conversation with her. It
works. Angela goes to the bathroom. Lester sits in the kitchen, looking
at a picture of his family. He smiles as a gun is pointed at the back of
his head. The camera pans away and we hear a gunshot. Then we see blood
spray on the wall. Ricky and Jane come downstairs and see Lester lying
dead on the counter. There is a voiceover. We realise that the Lester
who has been narrating the movie was his voice from beyond the grave.
Now Lester talks about how death feels, and of how he misses his family.
We see Carolyn run into her bedroom. She has obviously seen Lester's
body. She throws her gun away and begins to cry. She apparently, !
will recieve the blame. Then we see Frank in his study. His whi!
te shirt is covered in blood and there is a gun missing from his
display. He is the one who killed Lester. As the movie ends, Lester
leaves us with these words: "You have no idea what I'm talking about.
But don't worry. You will."
American History X
Daniel Vinyard has to write a paper about his brother Derek, a
former skinhead leader who has been parolled from serving 3 years for
murder. After telling his moving story of why he decided to leave the
skinheads and wants Danny to leave as well, Derek agrees to talk to the
other skinheads about why they should leave as well. It seems like it is
going to be a happy ending had by all until the very end when Danny is
shot and killed by a black gang member that he had insulted earlier in
American Pie well those horney little boys finally get laid. 1 of them has
ity off with stifflers mom on a pool table another with his girlfriend
and 1 with a band player... of course ther is one left that falls in
love and decides to wait to get laid... bad choice i say. well enjoy the
movie it is a laugh. michael joyce
Julia Roberts plays the "plain jane" and "formerly obese"
sister of the "beautiful and georgeous" Catherine Zeta-Jones. It seems
that Catherine Zeta-Jones and her on-screen lover, and off-screen
husband (John Cusack) can't stand each other. Yet, to keep the
movie-going public interested in their new project, Cusack and
Zeta-Jones must (for convenience sake) "pretend" to still be an "item."
Problems arise when Cusack falls in love with Julia Roberts, and
Zeta-Jones falls in love with herself. Enter, Billy Crystal (who
coincidentally wrote this movie.) And then, the 'comedy schtick'
(...and I do mean 'schtick') begins. For instance, A big dog
continually sniffs out Billy Crystal's crotch and humps his leg. A
bewildered Julia Roberts finding Billy and the dog in this compromising
situation retorts with "...Should I leave you two alone?" (Pause for
'big giant guffaws from audience'.) And then there is that almost 'rated
R' scene where Billy Crystal "inadvertent!
ly" lets a video tape fall into the hands of a local newsroom, where it
"appears" that John Cusack is furiously masterbating in the weeds, while
he is trying to get a glimpse of Catherine Zeta-Jones (peeping Tom
style) through her bedroom window, .... and many more bits of comedy
that beg for 'canned laughter.' In the end, all's well that end's well.
A "movie within the movie" turns out to be a "documentary-of-sorts" that
Christopher Walken haphazardly put together at the last minute to show
"...What Actors Are Really Like Behind All Of That Make-up. The critics
love it! The studio boss is ecstatic! And guess what? Julia Roberts,
"the plain jane and formerly obese" sister of the "beautiful and
georgeous" Catherine Zeta-Jones, gets the "man of her dreams" (ie: John
Cusack.) NOTE: He was really in love with her all the time, even when
she was a big fat pig!
Loren Richard Klahs
OK. So J.Lo falls in love with Jim Caveziel who is actually
some guy she saved a year ago from a car accident in which his wife and
child died. Of course he blocked that out of his memory and changed his
name, just tried to live a normal life. They get together at the end,
probably for good.
Mac The Movieguy
A bird hunter is attacked and mauled and the town blames
Marvin (Rob Schnieder), whom they chase into the forest. There, he finds
Dr.Wilder (Michael Canton), who tells him that he is not the creature
that attached the hunter, but there is another person in the woods who
has undergone the same experiment. They are resposible. During the
chase, you are found guessing who it could be. There are hints which
ellude to Marvin's friend Fatty (Louis Lombardi), Chief Wilson (Ed
Asner), and Dr. Wilder himself. But in the end we find out that it is
Marvin's girlfriend Rianna (Colleen Haskell) who is the creature.
Apparently she underwent the procedure sometime during the year she
spent living in a redwood tree in order to prevent its destruction. She
saves Marvin from Sgt. Sisk (John C. McGinley) and then explains that
she attacked the hunter because he was trying to kill Molly, the baby
turkey vulture. They reconcile, but then are attacked by a mob (members
of which include !
Norm MacDonald as a talkitive lumberjack and Adam Sandler doing a parody
of Schneider's "You can do it!" cajun character from "The Waterboy".).
As the mob approaches, Marvin's friend Miles (Guy Torry) takes the blame
for his friend. The mob decides to let him off since he is black ("I
ain't takin' part in a mob to kill a black guy, I'll tell ya that!" says
MacDonald). A year later, Marvin and Rianna are married, have founded a
wildlife preserve, and have two man-imal children. Dr. Wilder has won
the nobel prize and is marrying Yolanda, the badger-milk girl (Who has
also undergone the trans-species-ectomy.).
In one of the most shockingly bleak, downbeat endings of any
movie since The Parallax View (1974), Michael Farady (Jeff Bridges)
discovers that his fears of his next-door neighbor Oliver Lang (Tim
Robbins) of being a terrorist bomber are true. Farady thinks that Lang
and his conspirators are going to drive a delivery van full of
explosives into the FBI headquarters building in downtown Washington
D.C. After a long, panic-stricken car chase through the streets, Farady
catches up to the delivery van entering the building parking garage only
to discover (way too late) that it's a different van entering the
building and the bomb is not in the van, but in the trunk of his rental
car! The delivery man/telephone repairman conspirator denotates the bomb
from his van a short distance away in which the FBI building is
destroyed, killing Farady and hundreds of others. Months later after a
long investgation into the bombing, it is announced that Farady bombed
the FBI building for his own insane reasons, thanks to some damaging testomony from
Lang's co-conspirators as well as Farady's son Grant (his mind poisoned
against his father by stories from Lang) and that like the other
bombings of St. Louis and Oklahoma City, no evidence has been found of
any conspiracy. Farady was the lone bomber. Case closed. Lang thanks his
conspirators and co-conspirators on yet another job well done as he and
his co-conspiritor wife plan to move to another city to meet with their
next group of conspirators to slowly plan their next terrorist act
Armageddon Harry (bruce willis) sets the bomb (in order to destroy the asteroid), and, being located on the asteroid, dies.
you can relax, though, most of the crew comes back home in one piece.
Army of Darkness Ash (Bruce Campbell) says the words and returns to the present to continue to fight the living undead and woo the women in his
local S-Mart... that is, unless you are watching the alternate version... Marcus Alexander Hart
Army of Darkness (alternate)
Ash (Bruce Campbell) says goodbye to those in the kingdom and
attempts to return home with a magic potion. He must swallow 6 drops and
then say the magic words. Each drop will allow him to sleep a century.
Ash is distracted however, and swallows 7 after loosing count. When he
wakes up, he finds himself in a post apocalyptic London, decimated after
war and with no one left alive. Faced with this new world, Ash goes
Back to the Future
Marty goes back to 1955 when his parents first meet. After
alot of unimportant stuff, he ends up changing the time line so that he
family is better off when he gets back to 1985.
Back to the Future Part II Although Marty and Doc manage to correct the 1985 timeline
that the 2015 Biff altered by returning to 1955 themselves, Marty is
stranded in 1955 when lightning strikes the DeLorean, which vanishes -
and Doc with it, since he was inside. But Marty immediately afterward
receives a letter from Doc dated 1885, which means he's still alive but
at an earlier time - thus setting the stage for the third film. (Miss) Rori
Brian (William Baldwin) and Stephen (Kurt Russell) figure out
that fellow firefighter John "Axe" Adcox (Scott Glenn) is the one behind
the firs. But before they can confront him, they are all called to a
wherehouse fire. They talk to him on the roof. Axe tells them that he
found out that Alderman Marty Swayzak (J.T. Walsh) and the others who
have all been killed were shutting down firehouses and cutting back
funding in an effort to gain more money, resulting in numerous deaths of
firemen. Axe and Stephen fight for a little while, but then stop and
resolve. Brian shows up and the three realise that Axe is not at fault,
but the Alderman is. Before they can escape though, the roof caves in
and all three fall into the building. Axe is killed and Stephen severely
wounded. Sensing the need for courage, Brian succesfully puts the fire
out. Brian and Stephen finally work out their differences, but Stephen
dies on the way to the hospital. The next day, all the firemen in th!
e city gather for the double funeral of Axe Stephen. Brian gives the
info to Detective Donald "Shadow" Rimgale, who arrests Swayzak. Brian
decides to carry on the family tradition and takes his brother's and
father's place as a firefighter.
Barry Lyndon (Ryan O'neall) abuses hos step-son Lord
Bullingdon (Leon Vitalli) too much, and he leaves the family. Barry and
his wife (Marisa Berenson) have a child of their own, but he is killed
while riding a horse. Barry grows depressed, and falls into debt. Seeing
no way out, he contacts Bullington and asks for help. They make a deal.
The two of them shall duel. If Barry wins, he can have all the money he
needs. If he looses, he must leave, and will be paid 500 pounds a month
to never come back. At the duel, Bullington wins the toss and is awarded
the first shot. His guns misfires though, and Barry is given the turn.
He purposely fires away, and Bullington is given another shot.
Bullington is a bad shot though, and hits Barry in the leg. This does
win him the bet though, and Barry leaves the country after his leg
becomes infected and is amputated. He heads to the continent where he
attempts to make a living as a gambler. He is unsuccesful and
disappears, never to be seen again.
Batman kills a bunch of henchmen (boo! Batman doesn't kill!) and then faces off against the Joker. Joker escapes on a helicopter's rope ladder...but Batman throws a rope around Joker's ankle. Joker falls to his death. The city debuts its Bat-signal for contacting Batman.
Batman and Robin
This is just like the last movie, except with even more spinning lights and butt shots. The three heroes have to fight three villains while nine other principal players try to get in their stories as well. There's a big motorcycle race that has nothing to do with anything. Mr. Freeze is saddled with a lot of lame quips while Poison Ivy blows pollen at people again and again and again. Alfred is near death and steals the plot from "Max Headroom". Computer whiz Barbara hacks into Batman's files by stabbing at the keyboard a finger at a time. This goes on for another three hours, until Freeze and Ivy are caught and put in the same Asylum room even though they're not the same gender and need different temperatures to survive. As the credits roll, you realize two things: that the Smashing Pumpkins song is the movie's high point, and Arnold Schwarzeneggar is the best actor with the deepest character in the whole film(!).
Riddler and Two-Face discover Batman's secret, so we know they're in trouble. Batman and his new partner Robin get into their new extra-homoerotic costumes (complete with nipples built in) and go off to defeat Riddler and Two-Face at their not-at-all-secret lair. Batman blows by the Police HQ without actually asking why they have the signal on, and Commissioner Gordon shakes hands with the other officers like he's done something. At the HQ, Two-Face is ground to bits and Riddler gets a massive brain energy dump which leaves him looking like he'll need to take the "special bus" for the rest of his life. Riddler thinks he's Batman.
Penguin is about to kill most of Gotham via remote-controlled penguins with rocket harnesses. No, seriously. Batman defeats him and has all the rockets land in the abandoned zoo. Penguin drowns. Meanwhile, Catwoman faces off against Max Schreck, who learns the identity of Batman so we KNOW he's going to die. Catwoman electrocutes herself and Max, but her body is not found. Later, Batman wishes Alfred a Merry Christmas and Catwoman's head appears peeking up at the bottom of the screen.
La Bella Vita Roberto Benini as
Gwido,a young man who comes from the country to the city. He fell in love and got married.
the young couple having a son-joshua. Gwido is jewish, and the nazis take him and Joshua to the getto. Gwido,that wants to keep away his son from the horrors and make him overcome it - inventing a whole virtual world for Joshua.
for all over the war joshua thinks that they are playing a game, and "if they will get 1000 points they'll win in a real tank. During the movie Gwido is fighting to keep his son's illusion real. It works,
and because of that game little Joshua is saved, and meets his mother again. The only problem is that Gwido himself is getting shot and dead while looking for
his wife. The movie ends when we understand that the whole movie is a story told to us by Joshua after he grew up.
Billy decides to give up boxing lessons in favor of ballet
lessons. He keeps this secret from his brother and father who are
involved in a miner's strike (his mother is dead.) His instuctor
encourages him to apply to the national ballet school, which after much
objection from his father, he does. His father eventually warms to the
idea of Billy dancing, and the end of the movie shows Billy as a famous
dancer in the future.
The Blair Witch Project With Josh missing, Mike and Heather heard screams which they
traced to an abandoned house. Mike get grabed by someone or something
in the basement. Heather finds Mike standing in the corner facing the
wall, ala Rustin Parr style of his killings (at the beginning of the movie, they were interviewing the
locals about the legend. one man said that he (crazy witch dude)would
kidnap little kids from the town and bring them up to his cabin. he
brought them down into the basement two at a time. he stood one in the
corner while he killed the other...the reason mike was standing in the
corner was because the witch was killing josh). then you hear a loud thud and heathers camera hits the floor. Dan + pollux
After years spent in jail and away from his little daughter.
Carl Jung vists her after school and walks her home everyday. One day
he asks her where she wants to go and she says "California". Inorder to
make her wish come true, he needs to do one last score. He meets up
with old friends and the deal goes smoothly until one of them is working
with the DEA and turns on Carl. THe end of the movie is of Carl
dreaming of one day meeting his grown up daughter (which never happens).
Book of Shadows: Blairwitch 2
Erica dissapears after performing a Wiccan ritual. She is
later found dead, in the closet. Jeff, Stephan, and Kim find out that
Tristen is actually the one possed by evil. Tristen begins to mock the
others.In a blind rage, Stephan hangs her. The next morning, the police
enter the building and arrest the three. They review the tape of what
happened to Tristen. The tape shows something completely different. The
three are accusing Tristen of murder. Tristen is now denying this and is
begging for her life. On the tape, Stephen goes crazy and hangs her.
Then Kim is shown a video of the security camera of a local store.
Earlier Kim purchased food and left. But now, the video shows her
butchering the clerk. Now it is revealed to the three what really
happened to the other group of campers. They review the tapes of what
happened that night. They all danced naked around a raging fire, and
then ran to the other campers and killed them one by one. As the movie
ends, we hear Stephan yelling "It wasn't us! Someone messed with those tapes!" And as
the credits begin to roll, countless groups of camper enter the woods of
Burkettesville to take part in the real legend of the Blairwitch.
Bottle Rocket Dignan is caught by the police (a few minutes after declaring "they'll never catch me") and ends up in jail. Anthony
and Inez get back to each other. By the way, did you know that Anthony, Dignan and Future man are brothers in real life?!
Bridget Jones's Diary
Bridget starts a diary of her life and through out the movies
tries to loose weight and give up other things as part of her New Years
Resolutions. Bridget falls for her boss Hugh Grant. They get together
but he turns out to be a complete jerk and dumbps her. Throughout the
movie she keeps running into a guy named Mark Darcy who she can't stand
but one night he tells her he likes her just as she is. Well that did
it. Bridget is now crazy about him. However Hugh Grant does spoil
Bridget's birthday party and a fist fight between him and Mark takes
place and Mark leaves. He comes back and he and Bridget are about to go
out when he discovers what she's written about him in her diary (when
she hated him) and leaves her apartment. Bridget chases him in the snow
wearing only a t-shirt, a sweater and running shoes. She catches up to
him at a shop where he has bought her a new diary for her to write about
their life together. They kiss and her leopard print underwear is sho!
wing and people are stopping to look so he wraps Bridget up in his coat.
Bring It On The African American cheerleader team wins!!! but they deserve it.uli
A Bug's Life The giant mechanical bird is lost in a fire started by
P.T. Flea, but the antz, er, ants defeat those pesky grasshopers anyway.
Woo-hoo. Big surprise. Marcus Alexander Hart
Can't Hardly Wait All the jocks lose, all the geeks win. It's the
ending that you always wished that The Breakfast Club had. Marcus Alexander Hart
Tom Hanks builds some kind of a raft, and sails into the ocean with Wilson and with this unopened package. There's a storm, Wilson drowns (a very sad scene), but Tom gets rescued by sime big ship. When he returns to civilization he finds out the his girlfriend has mariied some other guy!! and they have a kid! They kiss, They confess that they love eachother, but she returns to her life with her husband. Tom brings the package to its sender, and apparently its a cool, beautiful woman, which makes her worthy of his love. Well actually we don't see what happens between them, but they probably fall in love or something. Oh,by the way, Tom is so much cuter after 4 years on the island, when he's skinny!
Holden (Ben Affleck) decides that in order for him to be
comfortable with Alyssa's (Joey Lauren Adams) past, they have to have a
threesome with Banky (Jason Lee) who Holden assumes is attracted to him.
Banky reluctantly agrees, but Alyssa says that she can't do it. She
says that she loves him, but she's not his whore. And they break up.
Banky and Holden stop making the comic together. A year later, they're
at a convention and Holden sees Banky and they acknowledge each other
pleasently, then he sees Alyssa accross the way and gives her a comic of
his own that contains an apology.
Cinderella (Disney version)
At the moment when Cinderella is about to be fitted with the
glass slipper, her stepmother (who had tried to keep this from happening
by locking her in her room; the animal friends saved her) trips the
footman presenting the shoe. It breaks, but Cinderella isn't perturbed
- she reveals that she had the other one all along; it obviously fits,
and a happy ending ensues as she is married to the prince.(Miss) Rori
Rosebud was a sled
City of Angels
Seth (Nicholas Cage) falls and becomes human. He searches for
Maggie (Meg Ryan), finds her in her cabin. They spend a wonderful night
together and begin planning the rest of their life. The next day,
Maggie goes to buy some things at the store and as she returns on her
bike she gets hit by a log truck. Seth runs to her, and is with her
while she dies. He's devastated, and is unsure of how he will go on.
Sucky sucky ending!
The old man who borrowed the porno earlier in the film, dies
while masterbating in the bathroom. His blood continues to flow for a
few hours, and he is left with a hard-on. Caitlin stumbles into the
bathroom, mistakes him for Dante, and has sex with him. Afterwords,
Dante reveals that it wasn't him, and the body is discovered. Caitlin
has a nervous breakdown and is commited. Randy still thinks Dante wants
to be with Caitlin and tells his real girlfriend that he doesn't want
her anymore. Outraged, she breaks up with Dante. Dante attacks Randy,
but stops after Randy explains that Dante refuses to listen to himself,
let alone make up his mind. Randy leaves right when Jay and Silent Bob
enter. Jay continues to play the role of druggie bad-ass, but Silent Bob
speaks up, telling Dante that his girlfriend really loves him and he
should follow his heart. Dante realises that he has to make a decision,
and closes the store for the night.
A Clockwork Orange
Alex (Malcolm McDowell) undergoes a form of sublimenal
treatment to cure him of his evil tendancies. He is cured, and as a
result, everytime he has an evil thought, he becomes physically sick.
Alex returns to his house to find that his parents have rented out his
room and are unwilling to kick their visitor out. Alex leaves and is
attacked by a group of homeless people led by the poor derelect he
savagely beat at the beginning of the film. The police break up the
crowd, but Alex finds out that the cops are none other than his former
gang members who he abused, beat, and belittled. They take him to the
middle of nowhere, where they torture and beat him before stranding him
and leaving. Alex stumbles blindly through the country-side before
arriving at the home of the man he attacked (At the start of the film,
he and his "Droogs" broke into the mans house, trashed his belongings,
beat him senseless, and raped his wife. During this whole ordeal, Alex
was singing the so!
ng "Singing in the the rain".). The man, not recognising Alex, takes him
in and cares for him. The man is now crippled and his wife has died, all
resulting from the attack. Alex is happy to be here, being cared for,
but he makes a big mistake. While taking a bath, he sings "Singing in
the rain". The man hears this, and realises who his guest is. The man
finds out that Alex was the subject of the sublimenal experiment that is
now all over the papers, and, during a conversation, Alex reveals
another weakness. During the procedure, Beethoven music was played. Now,
Alex also grows sick when Beethoven is playing. The man drugs Alex, and
then locks him in the attic, piping Beethoven in through the walls. Alex
grows insane from the torture and throws himself out a window. He
awakens in a hospital. He finds that the police have rescued him. He
also discovers that the doctors have reversed his condition. Fearing
that the story of their subject's ill treatment after the procedure
will! get out to the public, the doctors have made him the way he was. Now, totally free to do whatever he wishes, Alex returns to his criminal lifestyle.
Close Encounters of the Third Through great peril, Roy and newfound friend Gillian make it
to Devil's Tower and the secret rendezvous the goverment has set up with
the peaceful aliens, who return all the people that had been "kidnapped"
by them, including Gillian's son Barry. A team of astronauts will now
journey with the aliens; Roy is allowed to join them.(Miss) Rori
the scientist is a candidate to go but can't b/c she doesn't
believe in God (she uses occum's razor, the simplest explanation is
often the right one, to back her up). the 1st launcher gets blown up by
that religious guy they saw on TV during a rehersal. the real old guy
gets her to the place he lives and tells her that since it was govt
money, they built two of the deals and the other one is on some secret
island and would she like to go? she then goes to the place, which is
under heavy security. in the launch, there's lots of vibrations which
cause her to contemplate abort but she doesn't and the thing starts to
drop and she starts to go places and basically meets her dad. this takes
several hours for her but after she comes back, they tell her nothing
happened and it didn't work. there's a big hearing on this and they
think she made everything up and wasted the govt's money and she tries
to convince them into what she thinks really happened but they use
occum's razor against her, saying its easier to believe that it didn't work and
nothing happened and that she didn't go anywhere. after it concludes, we
see two of the people talking about what was recorded on her camera that
she took and it seemed that it recorded the same length of static as the
length of time she said she was gone. in the end, she's giving a tour of
the satellite array to some kids on a field trip.
Piper Perabo (a.k.a. Violet)leaves the wholesome 'grassroots'
existence of her childhood (somewhere in the Midwest) and moves to New
York City. Once there, in "The Big Apple", she discovers that New York
might not be her kinda' town. The people are rude. Someone steals her
money. And...she is forced to work in a bar and participate in
wet-tee-shirt contests. She becomes a "hot barmaid," but what she
really wants to do is write songs. There is only one small problem, she
has terminal "stage fright" and cannot perform. After endless
angst-ridden episodes (to include: dancing on the bar, spraying the
horny regulars with water, and having sex with some guy from England)
she finds herself "hopeless" in terms of fulfilling her career as a
songwriter. And then out of left field comes Leann Rimes, who sings one
of Piper Perabo's songs, and the rest is history. The audience goes
wild, the song is a big success, and Piper Perabo can stay in "The Big
Apple" and have more sex with the English guy.
Loren Richard Klahs
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
Li Mu-Bai (Chow Yun-Fat) and Shu Lien (Michelle Yo) arrive at
Jade Fox's lair to confront Jen (Ziyi Zhang). Jade Fox (Pei-Pei Cheng)
has been keeping Jen under her control, but Jen rejects her and agrees
to come with Mu-Bai and Lien. But Jade Fox attacks them, firinf poison
darts at Mu-Bai. Mu-Bai deflects them and kills Jade Fox. But he finds
that one dart has made it through and kills him before Jen can find the
antidote. Jen goes to Wudan to study with Lo (Chen Chang). They spend
the night together. The next morning, Jen tells Lo to ake a wish. Lo
wishes they could be back alone in the deser again. A tearful Jen throws
herself off a bridge.
Ryan Phillipe DIES by getting hit by a taxi saving that wanna be virgin. Sarah Michelle Gellar is no longer a good little girl coz the sercets have come out in the open at the funeral of Sebastian
Dark Star Bomb number 20 detonates in the bomb bay, killing everybody
on board the Dark Star. Not that any of you have ever, or will ever see this movie. It just has a great ending to spoil. Marcus Alexander Hart
Mariachi's (Antonio Banderas) real name is Benito. He doesn't
learn until too late, but the villian Bucho (Jueaquim de Almeida) who he
has been chasing all this time is actually his brother Ciccero, who his
father disowned. Ciccero points out that Carolina (Salma Hayek) is now
the woman he love, but seeks revenge of his own by attempting to kill
her. Benito reacts and kills Ciccero and his men. Benito and Carolina
ride into the sunset in a stolen jeep with the guitar case full of
Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo
Detective Fowler (William Forsythe) isn't after Antione (Oded
Fehr) because of his job, but because his wife Elaine is a customer.
Deuce convinces Fowler that she isn't turning away from him because of
his sexual inadequecy, but because he doesn't appreciate her. In an
attempt to show her that he still loves her, He convinces Deuce to join
him in a double strip-tease for her. Afterwords, Fowler tells Deuce that
he has to take someone down for this, but Deuce refuses to turn in T.J.
(Eddie Griffin) and takes the fall himself. However, all his customers
show up at the trial and reveal that he never had sex with any of them.
He is let off the hook and patches things up with his girlfriend Kate
(Arija Bareikis). Then, everyone pitches in and helps Deuce repair the
tank before Antione gets home. Antione is okay with everything until he
touches the tank and it breaks. He goes into a rage and attacks Deuce,
but is arrested and sent to jail. Deuce and Kate stay together and form and anti-sushi resteraunt movement.
Bartleby (Ben Afflek) and Loki (Matt Damon) make it to the
cathedral and kill all present. Loki cuts off his wings, becoming human,
but Bartleby leaves his on, killing more bystanders. Bethany (Linda
Fiorentino) arrives too late with Jay and Silent Bob (Lason Mewes and
Kevin Smith), Rufus (Chris Rock), and Serendipity (Salma Hayek). Loki
realises that he has done wrong and attempts to correct himself, but
Bartleby kills him for "losing the faith". Suddenly, Bethany realises
that Joh Doe Jersey (The homeless man beaten into a coma at the start of
the film) is actually God in human form. God has been missing because
his human body is in a coma. Bethany runs to the hospital to find him.
Meanwhile, Jay takes a machine gun from a dead member of the SWAT team
and shotts Bartleby. Bartleby ducks, and the bullets destroy his wings,
making him human. Bartleby is now free to enter the church, be obsolved
of all sins, kill himself, and enter heaven (Thus defying God in a way
he cannot prevent and thus destroying all reality in the process.) But
Bethany makes it to the hospital and pulls John's plug, killing him. God
is now free and can stop Bartleby. God comes to earth in true form
(Allanis Morrisette) accompanied by Metatron (Alan Rickman). God kills
Bartleby and saves the world. But the power of John's death kills
Bethany. Silent Bob brings her body to God who heals her, making her
pregnant in the process. God, Metatron, Rufus, and Serendipity all
return to heaven and Bethany is left stuck with Jay and Silent Bob and
nothing to do. As the movie ends, Jay tells Silent Bob that they should
go to "Quick Stop" (The store from "Clerks").
The Doomsday Machine is a super-computer that is wired into
all the buried nuclear weapons in Russian. If one is detonated, then the
machine detonates all the rest, setting off a nuclear chain reaction
that will devestate earth for 100 years. The machine is also programmed
to go off if any part of Russia is nuked by an outside force. General
Ripper has also programmed the nuclear bomb carrying planes he has sent
to bomb the Ruskies with a special code. Their radio's will not pick up
any signals unless said signals are preceeded by a three-letter code.
Mandrake (Peter Sellers) discovers the code is "O.P.E" and tells this to
President Muffly (Also played by Peter Sellers). The call-back signal is
sent to all but one plane, who's radio was damaged by an enemy plane.
However, the bomb release was also damaged, and the planes capt., Major
Kong (Slim Pickin's), goes to fix it himself. In the attempt, he falls
out of the plane with the nuke. Apparently trying to enjoy his!
last moments of life, he rides the nuke all the way down, hootin' and
hollerin' like a cowboy on a bull. The bomb sets of the doomsday
machine. At the war room in the Pentagon, Dr. Strangelove (Once again
played by Peter Sellers) tells Muffly that the American's would be able
to survive if thousands of them moved into tunnels deep underground. He
says that the earth could be repopulated after 100 years if those sent
underground were rationed out by a ratio of Three women to every one
man. General Turgidson (George C. Scott) likes this idea very much, but
warns the president that the Russians may try to invade the American
tunnels in an attempt to repopulate the world with Russians, and thus be
the dominent race. During this warning, Ambassador de Sadesky (Peter
Bull) takes several photographs of the War Room with a secret hidden
camera. Dr. Strangelove seems to have a plan, but cannot reveal it
because he grows too excited when he learns that he can still walk. As
cans work things out in the pentagon, the Russian nukes decimate the earths surface.
Sly stallon's character comes out of retirement, helps young driver find his way, at end helps young driver beat the "bad" guy in the final race.
Dude, Where's My Car?
What can you say about a
movie where the opening sequence features "Stuttering John" Mendez
(a.k.a. Howard Stern's perennial intern/"shock" interviewer?) After we
witness "Stuttering John" exit a closet door to relieve himself in
what-appears-to-be a variety of house plants, we meet two young male
slackers who are just waking up after an evening of forgotten
adventures. Once awake, they discover that their automobile is somehow,
"missing." Thus, title of movie: "DUDE, WHERE'S MY CAR?" In an all out
effort to discover the where-abouts of said automobile, our
slacker-dudes find themselves being pursued by a variety of characters
to include: "space aliens, trans-sexuals, and other various and sundry
Southern California types." They borrow a car, in search of their own,
and find themselves sharing a red light with none other than "Fabio."
Fabio is in a red convertible with a beautiful model. The slacker-dudes
take immediate notice. Fabio, in an attempt to "show off" for the boys,
puts his arms around the girl and gives her a little kiss. Not to be
outdone, our young slacker-dude heroes begin to make out with each other
in a wild and passionate series of intense tongue kisses. Fabio becomes
"strangely un-nerved" and drives away in a huff. Later our slacker-dude
buddies find themselves being attacked by savage ostriches. As it turns
out, the slacker-dudes have in their possession (unbeknownst to them)
some kind of gizmo that is the "key to the universe." This
"thing-a-ma-jig" looks very much like a "Rubik's Cube," that one of the
slackers has been trying to figure out ever since he found the thing in
his pocket. One thing leads to another, and before the denouement
(where once again we witness "Stuttering John" Mendez taking a whiz in
the potted plants) our goofy slacker buds have somehow inadvertently
"saved the universe." All ends well when the "space aliens" reward the
slackers by giving each of their "girlfriends" a very special birthday
present. The audence watches in total amazement as two teen-age girls
go from size 'A' cups to double 'D's right before our very eyes. Note:
The boys are reunited with their car by the end of the film, but somehow
none of that really matters anymore.
Loren Richard Klahs
Empire Records The staff raise the money for Joe, by organizing a big party. Gina fulfills her dream and sings at the party, Corey tells AJ she loves him too, and everyone's really happy.
Enemy Of The State Dean gets the NSA guys and the mobsters to shoot at eachother, while Brill is off to a sunny beach.
Ira Kane (David Duchovny) and Harry Block (Orlando Jones) are
blamed when the creatures escape. They return to the compound to
confront Dr. Woodman (Ted Levine) and explain things to the governer
(Dan Akroyd). While there, the creatures evolve into primates and
attack. They are driven back after Wayne Greene (Seann William Scott)
gets a gun and kills one. Enraged by the attack, the governer approves
the plan to napalm the creature's habitat area. Afterwords, Woodman
officially removes Ira and Harry from any association with the project
whatesoever. When they leave, Dr. Allison Reed (Julianne Moore) joins
them, sneaking out a sample of the original, un-evolved creature. They
take it to the community college, where several students are throwing an
"End of the World" party. There, they discover that the creature evolves
when provoked by heat. They realise that the napalm will force the
creatures to evolve even quicker. Ira also makes another discovery. We
are carbon based life forms, while the aliens are nitrogen based. On the periodic
table, if you go two down and one over from carbon, you have arsenic,
which is poisonous to carbon-based life forms. If you do the same with
nitrogen, you arrive at Selenium. Selenium, hopefully, will be poisonous
to the aliens. But a new question arises. Where will they get 500
gallons of selenium in one day? The answer: Head and Shoulders shampoo.
Selenium Nitrate is the active ingredient in Head and Shoulders. The
guys fill the fire truck with the shampoo and head for the impact site.
But Woodman has set off the bomb early, and the creatures mold together
and form a giant, worm-like creature. By the time the good-guys are
ready, the alien is about to divide. In order for the selenium to work,
it must enter through an opening. The only one they can find is the
aliens giant sphincter. Ira and Harry climb up the fire-truck's ladder
and fire the creature full of shampoo. It works, and the creature
Afterwords, Harry and Ira are given full credit for the discovery of life off of earth. Wayne becomes a full fire-fighter. Ira is
about to be publically thanked for saving earth, but disappears into the
fire-truck so that he can have sex with Allison. After the entire ordeal
Ira, Harry, and Wayne becom commercial spokesmen for Head and Shoulders
Eyes Wide Shut
Apparently, I seem to be the only one who understood this
movie, so I'll help you guys out. William Hartford (Tom Cruise) and his
wife Alice (Nicole Kidman) are having marital problems. William and
Alice go to a party thrown by his boss, where they both pick up "dates".
Alice goes for an older guy, while William gets two hot, younger women.
Alice doesn't persue it though, because she seems to have some form of
moral attachment to her marriage. William would have gone for it, but is
pulled away by his boss. His boss was having sex with a girl named Mandy
(Julienne Davis) who has now O.D.'d. William revives her and returns to
the party. He meets up with Alice who wants to go home. Once there, they
have sex. Afterwords, they discuss sex in the modern world. Alice tells
William that women are underestimated by men nowadays. She tells him of
a time when they were on a vacation, when she saw a man in a navy
uniform. The man and her had stared at eachother and nothing more, but she claims that she felt better then than she would have if they
had had sex. Outraged, William goes out the next day for some sexual
revenge. At first he tries to get together with a hooker. But he ends up
starting a conversation and feels too good to have meaningless sex with
her. Then he finds an old friend of his, a musician named Nick
Nightingale (Todd Field). William follows the information Nick gives him
and finds himself in a mansion in the counrty. Inside is a meeting of a
secret society. The men present wear cloaks and mardi-gras-esque masks.
The women also wear masks, but are otherwise completely naked. There,
couples have freaky sex in front of onlookers. Williams identity is
discovered and he is told that he will be punished. But one of the girls
offers to take his punishment for him. They leader of the society
agrees, but warns William that he must never speak of what he has seen.
The next day, William reads an obituary for Mandy, the drugged up whore
he saved. William thinks that Mandy was the girl in the mansion, and that she was killed because of him. William is confronted by his
boss, who claims to be a member of the secret organization. He claims
that the whole ordeal with the crowd turning on him and the girl
offering to undergo his punishment was nothing more than a show that was
put on to scare him out of ever speaking about what he saw. William goes
to return the mask and cloak he rented for the trip last night to a
costume shop run by a Russian man named Milich (Rade Sherbedgia). When
William had been there the previous night, Milich had caught his
daughter (Leelee Sobieski) having sex with 2 chinese men. Milich had
told them he was going to call the cops. When William arrives today,
Milich is talking pleasently with the man. William asks him what is
going on, and Milich tells him that a deal can always be made. When he
finishes saying this, he looks to his daughter, who eyes William
lustfully. William, now thoroughly confused, goes to see the hooker from
the previous night. She isn't there, but her roomate is, She tells William that the girl was diagnosed with AIDs that morning. Now William understands the truth
about sex in the modern world. Sex is no longer about love or emotion.
It's about satisfying your raw, carnal urges. Man no longer loves, but
lusts. Mankind no longer cares about emotion, we are nothing but sexual
predators. Devastated, William decides to make things right by
confessing everything to Alice. Alice takes it badly, but understands
that her husband truly loves her and had to undergo this terrible ordeal
to truly understand that. And, in the tradition of all of Kubricks
greatest films, this one has an ironic ending. After Williams
frightening journey into the horrors of sex, Alice decides the way that
they must resolve their problems is for them to have sex together as
soon as possible.
Face/Off sean archer shoots a harpoon into nicholas cages' stomach.
sean gets his face & "...this ridiculous chin" back.pollux
The alien in the end turns out to be Mary-Beth, she turns into
a ugly moster and Casey kills her, then weeks later we see that he's the
big hero, and he's now going out with Delilah, Stokley is going out wit
Stan, and im pretty sure that Zeke is going out wit the nerdy teacher
Fargo Jerry's wife dies, and he's arrested while trying to escape through his motel room window. marge's back
home with her cute husband. Oh, and that asian guy turns out to be a bit of a psycho.
The Fast and the Furious
Brian Spindler (Paul Walker) gets the tuna sandwich (with no crust) and the
girl- Mia (jordanna brewster). Walker, an undercover cop finds out that
Dom (Vin Diesel) and his crew are the honda bandits and not Johnny Tran
(Ricky Yune) and his crew. In the end Dom gets his 10 second car.
Brad Pitt and the Ed Norton and the same person. Two
sides of the same personality. Apparently. Simple as that. Norton "kills" his alter ego by shooting himself in the face, but survives to witness
the credit card buildings explode and tell Marla that he wants
, Rob Johnson
Tod dies by being hanged in his bathroom. The jock's
girlfriend, Terry, is killed by being, more or less, blown up by a
public bus. The teacher dies by being burned and then having a knife
stabbed into her chest. the jock is saved from being hit by a train.
Clear is saved from being blown up in her car. Devon Sawa's character
is resuscitated after being electrocuted. Six months later, Clear,
Devon and the jock get on a plane to paris, devon is almost killed but
he is saved first by Clear, then by the jock. Then the jock dies and
the movie ends. julie
Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within
Niell, Ryan, and Jane (voiced by steve bucemi, Ving
raymes,Peri gilpin) die by getting thier souls taken by the ailen and so
does Gray ( Alec Baldwin ). Aki (Ming-Na) saves herself and the world by
finding the 8th spirit. o yeah Dr.Sid (Donald Sutherland) survives too.
Forrester dies, and leaves "everything" to
our young brilliant literary friend. Everyone, including Busta Rhymes,
is both sadden and surprised. In the final sequence our hero, Busta
Rhymes and their mother get the keys to Forrester's apartment, and they
visit "the shrine," with the mother saying in hushed tones, "...Don't
touch anything." Tearfully they gaze at the mountains of books,
artwork, and antiques.
Loren Richard Klahs
Forces of Nature
Ben Affleck doesn't end up with Sandra Bullock, he goes home
and marries his fiance, and Sandra Bullock goes to find her kid.
From Dusk Till Dawn Everybody dies except for Seth and Kate, who
destroy all of the vampires and meet up with Cheech Marin (in like his
tenth role in the movie) and live unhappily ever after. Marcus Alexander Hart
Full Metal Jacket
Joker sneaks into the empty building and locates the sniper,
who is actually a Vietnamese girl. Joker runs out of ammo, but is saved
by Raptor-man who fires several rounds into the girl. The others soon
arrive, but the girl is not dead. She lies on the ground, critically
wounded and praying in Vietnamese. Joker realises that the true horror
and insanity of this war has caught up with him, and he shoots the girl,
killing her. From here on, we see that Joker is the one who has aquired
"The Stare" of insanity, not Raptor-man. As the platoon leaves the
decimated city, they join in singing the theme from "The Micky Mouse
The General's Daughter The killer is Colonel William Kent (Timothy Hutton).
Gladiator Russell Crowe's character having been captured while trying to escape and attempt to contact his former army is put into the Colliseum
for one final battle. Yes you guessed it with the evil Ceasar (Joaquim
Pheaonix). Needless to say an almighty battle ensues which Crowe wins.
However, Crowe then collapses in the ring and dies from his wounds where
he then goes to Roman Heaven to be reunited with his wife and son who
were murdered earlier in the movie.
The Good Son
Susan (Wendy Crewson) has to choose between her son Henry
(Macaulay Culkin) and her nephew Mark (Elijah Wood). She saves Mark and
Henry falls off the cliff and dies.
The Green Mile John Coffrey didn't do the murders Tom Hanks learns this but
does nothing and John fries, and because of that hanks keeps on living
past 100 jodie portugal
do I begin? This is probably the highest grossing box office hit of the
year, and still they couldn't get Christine Baranski's "make-up" right?
In any event, Jim Carey's performance makes anything Robin Williams has
ever done look tame and conservative. Jim Carey in lime-green makeup
was a lot more appealing than Christine Baranski as "death warmed over."
And then there were all of those "improvised jokes," like Jim Carey
putting some mistletoe up his ass and asking if anyone wanted to
"...kiss it?" And wasn't it amusing when little "Cindy Lu, Sue, Boo..or
whatever" got herself trapped into something that looked like a trash
compactor? I thought the laughs would never stop. An instant holiday
classic. Jim Carey's performance reminded me of any number of Robert
Downey Jr's antics, in or out of the courtroom. The whole Dr. Seuss
thing looked like it was filmed in the old Christmas window displays at
Macy's. But really....was the footage of Christine Baranski's close-up
necessary? This was scarier than Barbara Streisand in "The Mirror Has
Two Faces," but that was a horse of a different color.
Loren Richard Klahs
Halloween H20 Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis) deeeeecapitates Michael
Myers. Geez louise, it's about damn time somebody did. If you want to
stop the undead pure evil, you've got to dismember them, not ARREST them
(What's up with that, Halloween V?)! Marcus Alexander Hart
In Hamburger hill, it turns out that out of the 14 soldiers
only 3 of them survive: The guy with the girlfriend(Pretty suprising
for a vietnam movie!!), Don Cheadle (The guy in Mision to mars, who is
the only survivor of that group), and Dylan Mcdermott (Who will be seen
in the movie coming soon called "Texas Rangers")
Hannibal is caught by Carlo (Ivano Marescotti) and delivered
to Mason Verger (Gary Oldman) to be fed alive to the carniverous hogs.
But Clarice Starling (Julianne Moore) knows where he is. She finds the
barn he's being kept in, kills Carlo, and wounds Tommaso (Marco Graeo).
But Clarice takes a shot in the shoulder. She frees Lector, but passes
out. Lector rescues Clarice right as the doors open and the hogs enter.
Hannibal stands completely still. The hogs can easily get him, but
Tommaso is bleeding profusly and cowering over Carlo. The hogs see him
as an easier target and eat him instead. Verger arrives with Cordell
(Zelko Ivanek) to find Hannibal escaping. Sensing Cordells unhappiness,
Hannibal convinces Cordell to push Verger into the pit, where he is
killed by the hogs. Hannibal takes Clarice to Krendler's (Ray Liotta)
lake-front house and fixes her wound. Clarice wakes up to find herself
in a fancy evening dress and smells something cooking downstairs. Before
she leaves, she calls the police who tell her that they'll be there in
She goes downstair and finds Hannibal and Krendler chatting
nicely. Krendler is acting a little too strange though, and has a pale
face to go with his extremely red eyes. Hannibal removes Krendlers hat
and we see that Hannibal has lobotamised him. Hannibal cuts the top of
his head off and feeds Krendler peices of his own brain. Then he drags
Krendler into the kitchen, leaving Clarice in the dining room. Clarice
tries to attack Hannibal, but he slams her against a refrigerator. Her
hair falls behind the open door. Hannibal slams it shut and pulls off
the handle, trapping her. He begins to talk to her, but she hand-cuffs
herself to him. Hearing the approaching sirens, Hannibal picks up a
meat-cleaver, lays Clarice's hand on the counter, lifts the cleaver, and
brings it down hard. Next we see Clarices standing outside as the police
arrive. She still has both hands. Hannibal is escaping the country on an airplane. He has a sling around his arm (He cut off his own hand). As Hannibal gets out a small pack carrying food he has
brought with him, a small boy comes to talk to him. The boy points to
something in Hannibals tray and asks if he can have some (It is a piece
of Krendler's brain). Hannibal agrees, and the boy becomes a cannibal
without even knowing it.
Well it turns out that Nell is Hugh Cranes great great
grandfather. she draws him out in front of those cool looking doors and
confronts him. the demons come out of the doors and drag him to hell.
Nell dies in the process and joins all of the souls of the dead children
while Dr. Marrow and Theo look on.
Taking the easy way out of a movie, Paul Verhoeven, turns it
into a slasher flick, by having Kevin Bacon trap his colleagues in their
underground lab. Then he kills them off one by one. First he strangles
Janice, then tosses Carter through the air, causing him to snap his head
against a pipe. After that he puts Sarah out with a tranuilizer and
snaps her neck. Then he stabs Frank with an enormous crowbar (on the DVD
they call that scene, "Frank-on-a-stick"). Then Bacon traps Linda and
Matt in a freezer. She breaks out and torches Bacon down in a tunnel. He
attacks her again only to have Matt hit him with the crowbar. Bacon
attacks yet again, but is electrictued. Linda and Matt find out
Sebastian (Kevin Bacon) set a bomb. They climb up into an elevator shaft
just as the lab explodes. But Sebastian comes back one more time. He
grabs Linda and they fall on the elevator. She breaks a wire causing
Sebastian and the elevator to fall into the heaving fire.
House On Haunted Hill
The darkness took evelyn and head upstairs towards the attic
prichett died pryce died and eddie and sara escaped on the roof
I Dreamed Of Africa
After surviving a near fatal auto accident, Kim Bassinger moves to Africa with her new
husband, young son, and the pet dog. Not to give too much away, during
the film Kim Bassinger tells the dog to stay away from the tigers; she
tells her husband not to take that one big last ride into the African
sunset; and (I'm not kidding) she tells her son to not play with
poisonous snakes. No one takes her advice. Thus, the dog gets chomped
by a tiger, the husband gets killed in a car crash, and the son dies of
a snake bite. Kim remains with her daughter in the African wilderness
and they fondly remember the "Good Times."
Loren Richard Klahs
I Still Know What You Did Last Summer
the killer is will benzson, get it ben's son
The Ice Storm The ending is kind of sad. Elijah Wood is hoarsing around outside in the cold, when he sits on a metal fence. All of a sudden, a wire of a power line turns on and starts running lose. It touches the
fence and Elijah gets electrocuted.
He is found after and is brought home where it is pretty obvious that he
is dead when his father starts crying. It is mainly silent during this
whole emotional time, and a lot of crying is involved.
Independence Day Aliens 0 Earth 1
Johnny Suede Johnny comes to Yvonne's apartment and tells her he's sorry. As the camera goes outside through the window, Johnny's boot is seen on the top of the car, which drives away.
Gennerou dies by T-Rex, Robbert dies by raptor 1,
Arnld dies by raptor 3. Grant, Hammond, Malclom, Tim, Lex, and Sattler survive.
They excape by a choper.
Jurassic Park 3
Grant gets tricked into going to the island.Spinosaur kills a
T-Rex. They run away.They meet up with some smart Raptors, some people
die, then they get away. More encounters with the Spino, they get away.
Some flying dinos chase them, one guy dies. As they are running away
from the Spino off the island the other Rex comes out of the bush and
the two start fighting, this time the Rex wins. They get off the island
and the miltary seals off the island.
Keeping the Faith
Rabbi Jake decides he wants to stay with Anna and stops her from leaving New York. She and Jake come to the karaoke center Father Brian and Jake
have set up. Father Brian, though still in love with Anna, is happy that
Anna and Rabbi Jake are happy together. Everyone is happy when they find
out Anna has been taking classes in Judaism (sp?) and thus maybe
converting and solving any problems that his congregation may have about
her not being Jewish.
The heast goes pretty well until Sherry (Marie Windsor) hires
men to steal the money. George (Elisha Cook) discovers this and there is
a big shoot out which leaves everyone dead except Johnny (Sterling
Haden) and Fay (Coleen Gray). They pack the money into a suitcase and
try to leave the country, but the case is too big to be carry-on and the
airline insists on storing it under the plane. The case is point on a
cart and taken to the plane, but it all goes bad. A elderly woman is
standing with a little dog, waiting for a relative to arive. The dog
becomes excited and runs onto the airfield. The cart stops too quickly
and the suitcase falls off, spilling the money everywhere. Fay tries to
convince Johnny to run, but he sees no point in it and surrenders to the
A Knight's Tale
OK. No biggies here. Heath Ledger's father isn't really dead,
just blind. Heath becomes a real knight because he gets knighted and
Heath manages to beat the bad guy. Oh and he gets the girl.
Mac The Movieguy
Last Dance When cindy (Sharon Stone) is 3 minutes from dying, comes a phone call from the judge which postpones the execution; a couple of hours later she's executed for real.
Last of the Mohicans
Daniel Day Lewis, Russell Means, and Eric Schweig are the last
three Mohicans ever (sure) who roam upstate New York trying to stop the
Huron suckas backed by the French. They save Madeline Stowe, Jodhi May,
and Steven Waddington from a war party raid, take them to their fort,
which is captured, then they have to flee the Hurons, led by
revenge-bent Wes Studi. When held prisoner again, Waddington volunteers
to be brutally executed in place of Stowe, while Jodhi May jumps off a
cliff after Schweig is killed in a duel for her honor by Studi. Means
(Schweig's onscreen father) gets superbly pissed and uses his
combination boomerang, club, and knife to dispatch Studi in one of only
three exciting action sequences in the whole movie. Then Lewis, Means,
and Stowe watch the sun set from the cliffs in a typically cheesy
Reese Witherspoon is a "Valley Girl" from UCLA. She loves
this really, really cute guy, but he dumps her because he is going to
Harvard to become a lawyer. Reese decides to go to Harvard too! She
surprises him in the ivy-covered halls of Harvard Law School, only to
discover that he has a new girlfriend. Reese becomes really, really sad
and thinks about going home to Los Angeles where her girlfriends are
having lots of "groovy" times and stuff. But after a run-in of sorts
with some dykes and pseudo-intellectuals, she decides to stay and finish
Law School. Before she graduates at the top of her class, her mentor
tries to "feel her up," and she gets really, really grossed out. And
then for some unknown reason one of her friends needs a lawyer because
the friend has been accused of killing her 60 year old husband. "Yuk."
The friend is a twenty-something aerobic instructor from L.A. and when
asked why such a cute young chick would marry such an old gross guy, she indicates that he had a very, very large "pee-pee." All seems lost,
and it looks like the cute aerobic instructor is heading for the gas
chamber. But then......Reese Witherspoon has a "special moment" where
she traps the real killer in an off-guard moment on the witness stand.
Reese wins the case, The aerobic instructor is a free woman, and by the
end of this movie, Reese Witherspoon meets another really, really cute
guy (Luke Wilson.)
Loren Richard Klahs
The Little Mermaid (Disney) Ariel doesn't receive the kiss from Eric in time (which means
she is a mermaid again) and Ursula manages to use her as ransom for her
father Triton's kingdom. Eric comes to rescue Ariel, and Ursula,
swelling to monstrous proportions, attempts to kill them both. Eric
defeats her by stabbing her with the bowsprit of a shipwreck the battle
dredges to the surface; her death releases all the merpeople (including
Triton) that she had imprisoned with her powers. Triton, realizing how
much Ariel loves Eric, permanently transforms her into a human, and the
lovers marry.(Miss) Rori
Lord of the Flies
Simon and Piggy are killed. The rest of the boys turn bad
except for Ralph. When everything seems hopeless for Ralph, they are
found and rescued.
The Low Life Andrew (Sean Astin) dies, and John (divine Rory Cochrane) quits the cynicism.
T.S. (Jeremy London) and Brodie (Jason Lee) sneak onto the
game show, disguised as contestants. There, T.S. proposes to Brandi
(Clair Forlani), who accepts. Inspired by his best friends display of
true love (and a little help from comic book legend Stan Lee), Brodie
attempts to win Rene (Shannon Doherty) back from Shannon (Ben Afflek),
the butt-loving store manager. Brodie gets Silent Bob (Kevin Smith) to
wire a V.C.R. into the game shows video monitor system. Through this,
they play a video of Shannon having sex with the under-aged Trisha. The
cops arrest Shannon, and Brodie is reunited with Rene. Then, he is
confronted by the network executives who were attending the show. They
dump the show, but offer Brodie the chance to host the "Tonight Show".
He accepts, and Rene becomes his band leader. T.S. weds Brandi at
Universal Studio's, Florida. Trisha's book on the sex-drive of modern
men becomes a best-seller and a movie is made of it. Shannon turns gay
in Prison. Willem eventually see's the hidden image in the "magic eye" picture. Jay
(Jason Mewes) and Silent Bob (and a chimpanzee named Suzanne) walk of
into the sunset (setting the stage for their next movie "Chasing Amy").
Man on the Moon As actually happened, Andy Kaufman dies of a rare lung cancer
at the end...but in the final scene set one year later one of his
characters, Tony Clifton (who always denied being one-and-the-same with
Andy) is seen performing - and the person who shared the role with Andy,
Bob Zmuda, is only watching this performance, leaving it up in the air
as to who it could really be, as per the urban legend that Andy faked
his death.(Miss) Rori
The secret to defeating the aliens - Slim Whitman records,
since the high notes shatter the aliens' helmets - is accidentally
discovered when Richie goes to rescue his grandma. The only other major
characters who survive are the President's daughter, Byron and Louise,
Barbara Land, and Tom Jones.(Miss) Rori
The Matrix Neo shoots into the Agent dude and rips him
apart and comes back alive because he's "The One".
Me, Myself & Irene
Charlie and Irene get back to Rhode Island with all the police and bad guys looking for them. Dicky kidnaps Irene and after Charlie and Hank find him, Charlie convinces Hank that he needs to confront Dicky and gets rid of Hank permanently. Whitey then kills Dicky and Charlie and Irene get married
Men of Honor
Cuba Gooding jr makes the rank of master diver overcoming all
obsticals at the end his legs are taken out while he saves 2 sailors
Mikey kills everyone except Jesse and Ben. He runs away and is
found later, but is thought to be another boy. He gets away with it and
Mission to Mars Tim Robbins commits suicide. Tim Robbin's wife, the black
guy and Gary Sinise go inside the big face and discover
the meaning of life is to colonize other planets as the
original Martians did to Earth. Gary Sinise stays behind
to go to the next planet while the other two go back to
their space ship and they all live happily ever after.
After making a deal with van helsing. Dallas(casper van dien)
decides to take him to Dracula but they get ambushed and van helsing and
Nico (natasha gregson wagner) get kidnapped at the hellfire club by the
count.the gang members who worked for the van helsing transform into
vampires after they sleep with one (earlier in the movie)Dallas becomes
good buddies with then and they Rescue nico and van helsing the
gangmembers kill Dracula Dallas transforms rachel(natasha lyonne) into a
vampire to save her life (also earlier in the movie)where Dallas Nico
and Rachel leave the hellfire club while van helsing goes to a group of
cops searching for help when he too transforms into a vampire as well.
Great Movie. This movie is told from backwards forward.
Basically it is about Leonard (Guy Pierce) who has a very short term
memory and relies on notes, photographs, and tattoos to help him find
the rapist and killer of his wife.
It's hard to tell you the story the way the movie shows it because it is
flashback after flashback after flashback. Here's what happens:
Leonard actually kills the rapist of his wife years before the action we
witness. He was guided by a cop, Teddy who helped him track down the
killer whose initials are J.G. Teddy's real initials are J.G also.
Teddy sets up this drug dealer, Jimmy Grantz for Leonard to kill by
mistake. After killing him, Teddy tells him that he actually killed the
rapist years ago and that his wife (who is diabetic) has died due to
insulin overdose (He was the reason why it happened). Because he has
short term memory, he takes out the picture of Teddy and writes on the
back "Don't trust his lies" and he burns the evidence that Jimmy G. was
killed by him. As his memory fades, he targets Teddy for murder and is
helped by spurn lover, Natalie (Carrie-Anne Moss) into killing Teddy.
The funny thing is that we see Teddy die a minute into the movie and we
go backwards from there.
Brian 'Ebert' Lee
Monty Python's Holy Grail
The Holy Grail turns out to be in another castle owned by the French Taunters. Arthur's army rushes the castle, but Arthur is arrested by the police for the murder of the elderly narrator earlier in the film. The police tell the army to disperse and then assault the camera man.
Monty Python's Life of Brian
Brian is crucified and misses his pardon because he was talking.
Mother's Boys Jude (Jamie Lee Curtis) falls off the cliff and dies.
The Mummy Returns
OK the deaths: The Rock dies (twice), Arnold Vosloo as Imhotep
dies at the end, Patricia Velasquez dies in a sea of those black bug
things, and Rachel Weisz dies. But fortunately, her 8 year old son can
read egyptian and reincarnates her by reading something out of an old
book. Brendan Fraser kills the Rock at the end and prevents the army of
hell from coming to earth and killing everyone.
Mac The Movieguy
The duke tires to kill Cjristian (Ewan McGregor)
but fails.Satin (Nicole Kidman)reveals her true love for Chritian then
because of her health dies of comsumption. Christian returns home and
wirtes a book about his experiences at the Moulin Rouge.
Never Been Kissed
Josie becomes cool when her brother Rob enrolls to hook up
with the baseball team. He gets a coaching job instead and she hooks up
with er English Teacher who Kisses her on a baseball field.
The Neverending Story Bastian realizes that he is the human brought to Fantasia to
rescue it because he has been reading the story of Atreyu's efforts to
find just that person. By giving the Childlike Empress the new name
(Moon Child) she needs to live (and thus for the kingdom to live), he is
transported there himself and is able to restore Fantasia and its
inhabitants through wishes before returning home.(Miss) Rori
Next Friday Craig and his cousin and friend are trying to steal some money
from a group of Latino's so they can save Craigs uncles house from being
taken by the IRS. They get the money Craig is then confronted by Debo
and an a partner they end up kicking both of their asses and save the
day. Since Craig was to live with his uncle because of Debo being
escaping from jail Craig descides to go back home.
Next Stop Wonderland Alan doesn't kill the fish, he takes it home instead. At the end of the movie, Alan and Erin finally meet eachother on the train.
Heath Leadgers DIES!!!!!! and so does Mel Gibsons other son HEHE HE. Mel gibson massacres a whole army with a hammer.
Pay It Forward
Trevor (Haley Joel Osment) defendes his friend from some
bullies, but is stabbed in the process and dies not long after
IF YOU NEED TO ASK ABOUT HOW PEARL HARBOR ENDED...YOU NEED TO
SPEND MORE TIME IN SCHOOL AND LESS TIME AT THE MOVIES....
After the attack on Pearl Harbor, Colonel Dolittle (Alec
Baldwin) leads a bombing raid on Tokyo. Danny (Josh Hertnett) and Raife
(Ben Afflek) are chosen to pilot bombers in the attack. Before leaving,
Raife confronts Evelyn (Kate Beckinsale) and asks her why she left him
for Danny. She tells Raife that she is pregnant with Danny's son. The
bombing is succesful in destroying Japanese weapon factories, but two of
the planes run out of fuel and crash in Japanese occupied China. Danny
is captured, but Raife kills the Japanese soldiers holding him. He runs
out of bullets and is fired upon by the Japanese, but Danny steps in
front of him and is shot in his place. Danny dies, but the others are
rescued by Chinese soldiers. Raife returns to Pearl Harbor and steps in
to raise the child for Danny. They name the boy after his real father.
Frank Rizzo +
The Perfect Storm
In the end mark walberg and George clooney and all the other other fisherman die at sea. They have a big funeral and walbergs girlfriend says she still dreams of him.
It turns out that the last of the mystic skulls is the one in the Phantom's ring.
Phantom Menace Liam Neeson gets stabbed and the dude with the freaky makeup gets cut in half. Obi-Wan stupidly
decides to train Darth Vader. Disguised as a kindly old
man who loves his planet and everybody, the future evil
emperor becomes leader of the Senate. Unfortunately, Jar
Jar "Meesa bein back for the sequel" Binks lives....Russell
OK. Everyone except Vin Diesel, the black religious guy, and
the kid die. Even the main character. Oh, by the way, that kid who
appears to be a boy is actually a girl, and the police officer is just a
bounty hunter looking for extra dough. Vin Diesel never hurts anyone
except the bounty hunter, but he doesn't kill him.
Mac The Movieguy
Planet of the Apes
Taylor (Charlton Heston) escapes the city with the help of
Cornelius (Roddy McDowell) and Zira (Kim Hunter). They travel to
Cornelius's archeological site in the forbidden zone, where he claims he
has found proof that primitive man was once an intellegant creature.
They are followed by Dr. Zaius (Maurice Evans) and a group of armed
gorilla's. There is a short fight that ends with the capture of Zaius by
Taylor. They all enter the cave where they find several artifacts,
including eye glasses and a replacement heart-valve. Zaius refuses to
beleive that any if this is definitive until they find a baby doll that
makes talking sounds. Zaius reveals that he has known all along that man
was once an intellegant beiong, but they squandered what they had and
destroyed their civilization. Taylor and Nova (Linda Harrison) leave the
apes and travel down the shore, where they find the crumbling remnants
of the statue of liberty, washed ashore. Taylor figures it all out. He
has landed on earth, decimated by war 2,000 years in the future.
Planet of the Apes (Tim Burton)
Leo recovers equipment from his pod that allow him to find his
ship. He finds it burried and activates a recording that reveals his
ship crashed looking for him. His shipmates never find him because he
gets punched forward in time. In the past the apes led by the
teacher's-pet-ape Semos, and apes take over and build the society Leo
arrives in. Thade tries to kill everyone and cover it up, but Leo
manages to lock him in the ship. Leo leaves in another pod that was
piloted by a chimp.
A military policewoman is fatally shot while investigating a
break-in at the Presidio, an army base in San Francisco. Sean Connery is
the provost marshall in charge of the military investigation, while Mark
Harmon, formerly an MP under Connery's command, is a San Francisco PD
inspector who knew the slain MP. Connery and Harmon hate each other,
they quarrel through most of the film, during which Harmon beds Meg Ryan
(Connery's daughter) and Connery pals around with his war buddy Jack
Warden. Turns out the major who got Harmon in trouble during his MP days
is involved with the murder, but is killed before any associations can
be made. Finally, in the last twenty minutes of the seemingly endless
film, we learn that Mark Blum, a wealthy businessman and former CIA
provincial advisor in Vietnam, was using his water delivery business to
smuggle diamonds from the Philippines and one of his workers
accidentally delivered a water bottle filled with gems to the Presidio
officers club and the MP was killed by the major while retrieving the parcel.
Furthermore, the major was blackmailing Jack Warden into helping him
with the scheme, but his conscience prevails and he throws in the towel,
and is then killed, but Connery and Harmon blast up the water warehouse
real good and kill all the bad guys and live happily ever after in this
more appropriate for television bore.
ed norton(the defendant) comes out to be innocent and is sent
to a mental institution because he plead insane. he talks to his lawyor
one more time after the trial and showed him that he doesnt have 2
personalities he just acted the innocent little quire boy one out!
The Prince of Egypt Moses leads his people to the promised land through the split Red Sea and smooshes up all of Ramses' troops. The really
bizarre thing, however, is that Ramses himself doesn't get killed. He just gets thrown ashore and looks really sad. Hmmm, I'll bet they just
wanted to keep it open for a sequel...Marcus Alexander Hart
It turns out that norman bates was doing all the killing, he
would dress up as his mother (he has split persanality)
Okay, this is tough since the movie is done out of sequence,
so I'll try and arrange it. Vince Vega (John Travolta) and Jules
Winfield (Sam Jackson) kill the baddies, retrieve the case with the
unrevealed contents (There is a rumor that the suitcase supposedly
contained Marcellus's soul, but it was denied by Tarantino) and escape.
They succeed in disposing of Marvin's body. They also foil Honeybunny
and Pumpkin's attempt to rob the coffee shop. Vince save's Mia (Uma
Thurman) from overdosing. Then, Vince is hired to kill Butch Coolidge
(Bruce Willis) after he failed to throw the boxing match and killed his
opponent. Butch elludes Vince and kills him with his own gun. Butch runs
into Marcellus himself while trying to escape. The two almost kill
eachother, but are captured by two homosexual rednecks. Butch escapes
them, but rather than fleeing, helps save Marcellus. In return,
Marcellus frees Butch, but tells him never to return to L.A. Butch
agree's, picks up his girlfriend, and leaves.
The Real Blonde Mary and Joe get back together and live happily ever after. Bob and Sahara end up together, as well.
Gallhager (Val Kilmer) and Quinn (Tom Sizemore) discover that
there is life on Mars. The planet is populated by small insectile
creatures that exhale oxygen. That is why they can breath. Quinn is
critically injured by the robot and dies, but not before setting off an
explosion that kills the insects and slowly destroys the atmosphere.
Gallagher is left stuck on Mars. He finds an old Russian probe he can
use in order to fly back to the ship stuck in orbit with Kate
(Carrie-Anne Moss). But he is attacked by the robot. After a little
trickery, he kills the robot and makes it to the ship. He and Kate
decide to tell the earth scientists about the creatures in order to save
earth. Oh yeah, and they have lots of sex on the way back.
Mr Oroange (Tim Roth) is actually an undercover cop named
Freddy Newendyke. Freddie was shot by a civilian when Mr. White/a.k.a.
Larry (Harvey Kietel) stole her car. Freddie shot and killed her without
thinking. Mr Brown (Quentin Tarantino) is shot in the head by the
police, but still ,somehow, drives the getaway car for a while. Mr. Pink
escaped the store with the diamonds. Pink, White, & Nice Guy Eddie
(Chris Penn) leave to retrieve them and leave Mr Blonde (Michael Madsen)
with Freddy and the hostage cop Marvin. Blonde goes crazy, cuts off the
cops ear, and is killed by Freddy. Pink, White, & Eddie return and kill
the cop. Then Joe shows up, revealing who Freddy is. But White refuses
to beleive him. There is a big shoot out which results in the deaths of
Joe and Eddie. White and Freddy get hurt pretty bad. Freddy reveals
himself to White, who takes it badly and shoots Freddy in the head. Pink
tries to escape with the diamonds, but is shot and captured by the pol!
ice, who then enter the warehouse and kill White
Rushmore Mr. Blume ends up with Miss Cross, Max ends up with Margaret Yang. And despite the fact that they have been dueling to the pain for
Miss Cross for the whole movie, everybody seems to live happily ever after.Marcus Alexander Hart
Safe Passage Percival is found alive in the ruins of the building.
Saving Private Ryan
A bunch of soldiers goes out to search for a Private Ryan
during a war. As it ends up he doesn't want to go back and the leader
of the troup (Tom Hanks)dies, as well as some other men.
After being shipped off from cuba to the U.S. Tony Montana (AL
Pachino) meets a coulple of drug dealers and gets offered a job. After
hearing how well Tony did the big drug dealer wants to meet him and his
friend Manny Rivera (Steven Bauer). They get to his mansion and Tony
starts to get the hots for his wife. After a couple of jobs Tony starts
to gain power and kill the boss and marry his wife (Michelle Phiefer).
After becoming the big boss he starts to become a mess and ends up
killing Manny because he married his sister behind his back, breaks up
with his wife, and dies after becoming a one army and killing half of
hiss rivals men.
Everyone Dies and Doofy runs off with tv reporter
Robert De Niro is enticed back into the "game" to make one
last "score" by Marlon Brando. Brando needs money to pay off the mob,
"or else!" Brando insists that Ed Norton help with the heist. De Niro
does not trust the young upstart, and for good reason. Ed Norton plans
to "keep all the money" for himself, after "the score." The score is
made, (they steal some kind of French artifact from an old building in
Montreal, Canada) and Ed Norton pretends to be "a retard." Ed Norton
double-crosses De Niro, but in the end it turns out that Robert De Niro
was "too smart" for Ed Norton, and Norton is left "holding the bag."
Loren Richard Klahs
Scream And the killers are.. Billy (Sidney's boyfriend) and his wacky yet adorable friend, Stuart.
Scream 2 And the killers are.. Billy's mom (disguised as clumsy reporter Debbie Salt) and a guy that's rarely seen in the
movie?! - the one who's not Derek (Sidney's current boyfriend, who by the way dies in the end) and not Andy,
you know (Mickey maybe??). this time more people die, only sidney and Gale and Dewey survive the horror!
Scream 3 Jay and Silent Bob are in the movie, there is a video tape
from the guy who always talked about movies and the killer is Sidney's
brother. What Sidney has a brother? Of course, that's how they link it
to the first one. Sidney's mom was a whore and the brother is pissed..President Clinton
Searching For Bobby Fisher
Josh competes in the chess competition, and it finally comes down to him and the arrogant kid. As the two of them face off, Josh excels by incorporating the best tactics of both of his tutors. Finally stumped, Josh stares at the board until he sees victory many moves away. He offers his opponent a draw and offers to share victory. The other boy refuses and plays him to the very end. Josh leaves to find his friend Max, who is disappointed that he lost so early. Josh tells him, "Want to know a secret? You're a much stronger player than I was at your age."
se7en Mills gets his wife's head in an express delivery and then he kills John Doe (Kevin Spacey).
The Seventh Sign
Jurgen Prochnow, who frolicks through the island of Dominica
at the beginning (supposed to be Haiti) is actually Jesus delivering the
seven signs leading up to the apocalypse. Father Lucci, the seemingly
compassionate priest, is actually Cartaphilis, Pilate's gatekeeper, who
struck Jesus and was cursed to walk forever until the world ended (so he
wants the signs to be carried out). Prochnow doesnt want to destroy the
world, but he is merely a servant of god and must obey. Of course Demi
Moore, who is pregnant, is actually the virgin Mary reincarnated, and
her baby is the messiah, if she can save him with hope. After
deciphering the signs with the help of a young jewish student, Demi
tries to save a retarded kid from the California death chamber (who
killed his sibbling parents) to stop the signs, but Lucci kills him and
fatally wounds Demi, but not before her baby is delivered and she
pledges her life to save the kid's and the world's. Note: Demi Moore
appears totally naked and pregnant in this film.
Shakespeare in Love Gwyn actually marries the butthead who she is arranged to wed, and in the gloom of losing his true love forever, Will sits down to
write the madcap comedy Twelfth Night. Go figure.Marcus Alexander Hart
Jack (Jack Nicholson) goes insane and attacks Wendy (Shelly
Duvall). She knocks him out and locks him in a freezer. But the spirit
of Grady (Phillip Stone) releases him. Danny (Danny Lloyd) is able to
send a message to Dick Halloren (Scatman Crothers), who comes to the
house to rescue the family. He is unsuccesful and Jack kills him with an
ax. Wendy escapes from Jack through a window in the bathroom. Jack turns
his attention to Danny, whom he chases into the garden maze. Danny
tricks Jack by running blindly into the maze, retracing his steps, and
hiding in the brush. Jack runs past him and Danny leaves the maze. Danny
finds his mother and they escape in Dicks snow-mobile. Jack gets trapped
in the maze and freezes to death. The next day, there is a new picture
in the banquet room of the overlook hotel. It's a snap-shot from the New
Years eve ball of 1932, and in the middle of the crowd is Jack.
Princess Fiona (Cameron Diaz) once had a spell cast upon her
that allowed her to be a beautiful princess by day, but transformed her
into an ogre by night. Shrek (Mike Myers) rejects his feelings for her
and delivers her to Lord Farquaad (John Lithgow) so they can be married.
Donkey (Eddie Murphy), however, is able to convince Shrek to do the
right thing. Shrek burts into the church, only to be humiliated by
Farquaad in front of the townspeople. Fiona realises she loves Shrek as
the sunset approaches, and shows him her true form. Farquaad is sent
into an outrage, claiming the kingdom for his own and ordering that both
Shrek and Fiona be arrested. Suddenly, Donkey and the Drogan burst into
the church. The Dragon eats Farquaad. The releived kingdom set Shrek and
Fiona free. Fiona, now free of the spell since she has found her true
love, remains an ogre and marries Shrek. Shrek all of the sudden, grows
a heart and invites both the town and the fairy tale creatures to !
his wedding, where Donkey and the seven dwarves perform an interesting
rendition of "Daydream Beleiver".
The Silence Of The Lambs In the end of the movie, Hannibal Lecter breaks free and plans to have someone for dinner..
A Simple Plan Billy-Bob and Bill Paxton kill the other guy, and then Billy-Bob forces Paxton to shoot him too. And when all is said and
done, Paxton and his weird teeth end up burning all of the money like he said he was going to do all along, leaving him and his bratty wife to live
forever in the ironic misery of the same lives that had made them so happy before.Marcus Alexander Hart
The 6th Day
Arnold finds out he's been cloned, and is marked for
assassination by assassins who gets killed over and over again. Arnold
discovers that he's really the clone, and not the guy who's living in
his house. At the end, there's 2 Arnold's fighting the bad guys, and
they blow up the cloning building with all the bad guys.
The Sixth Sense It turns out that Bruce Willis was killed in the beginning of
the movie, and he's actually a ghost for the rest of the film. christine
Sliding Doors Short-haired Helen dies, Long-haired helen puts an end to her relationship with ugly brit-boy, and meets James
in the elevator.. again... by the way, James didn't cheat on short-haired Helen, he was kissing his
soon-to-be-ex only for his mother's sake.
So, I Married an Axe Murderer
It turns out Rose has been killing all of Harriet's husbands
and leaving notes for Harriet saying that they're leaving her. Of
course, she is caught this time, and Charlie and Harriet live happily
During the USO show for the US troops, the Canadians attack, as the kids try to rescue Terrance and Phillip. Cartman gets shocked, which screws up his V-chip in his head. Stan finds the clitoris, who tells him to help stop the war. Satan and Saddam Hussein begin Armageddon, but whenever Cartman curses the V-chip shoots electricity at Saddam Hussein. Satan throws him back into hell. Kenny gets to go to heaven, all those who died in the war are revived, and everyone is happy.
The rebellion is squashed by the Romans. When told that they will be spared if they turn over their leader, Spartacus, everyone claims to be him. All slaves are crucified except for Spartacus and his buddy. Spartacus kills his friend in order to spare him the pain. Spartacus' wife is given her freedom by a kind member of the Senate. As she is being driven from the city, she sees her crucified husband. Showing him their newborn baby, she says, "This is your son. Your son is free!"
Stand and Deliver
All 18 of the kids suspected of cheating pass, and a graphic at the bottom informs the reader that more and more kids passed the advanced placement tests every year since 1982. The math teacher lets loose with a little punch in the air.
Star Trek: Insurrection The aging crew of the Enterprise-E help the pretty, perfect, not-never-hurtin'-no-nobody
colonists save their utopian planet from the ugly-ass, nasty-face, hard-core evil skin stretching freaks. Cripes, did you really need a spoiler page to tell you how this
one was going to end?Marcus Alexander Hart
Star Wars: A New Hope
Obi-Wan Kenobi (Alec Guiness) shuts down the tractor beam
while Luke Skywalker (Mark Hammil) and Han Solo (Harrison Ford) free
Princess Liea (Carrie Fisher). Han, Liea, and Luke are reunited with
R2-D2 (Kenny Baker) and C3P-0, but are unable to save Obi-Wan, who is
killed by Darth Vader (David Prowse, voiced by James Earl Jones). They
escape to Yavin Four and are told how to destroy the Daeth Star. There
is an exhaust Port in a surface trench that leads to the inner systems.
Han leaves to pay off his debts and Luke flies with the attack force
against the Death Star, but the squad is almost wiped out by Vader and
his fighters. Vader locks in his sights on Luke, but is stopped by Han
in the Millenium Falcon, who has returned after being struck by his
consiance. Han destroys the enemy crafts and sends Vader's craft flying
uncontrollably into space. Luke destroys the Death Star and they retreat
to Yavin. There, Han, Luke, and Chewbacca (Peter Mayhew) are honored
Star Wars: Episode 1
Anakin Skywalker is to be trained as a Jedi Knight. Qui Gon
is killed by Darth Maul. Obi Wan kills Darth Maul after seeing his
Master murdered. It looks cool, Obi is hanging off the side of a long
drop-off... he uses the force to grab Qui Gon's lightsaber while jumping
over Maul and then CHOPS HIM IN HALF!!! Palpatine is Darth Sidious.
Amidala clearly has a thing for YOUNG ANAKIN. Pedophile! In Episode 2,
Anakin is a lot older, Obi Wan is his master and Amidala and Anakin fall
madly in love. It ends with Amidala and Anakin getting married. How do
I know this? because I read the screenplay. MEDIA JACKAL OUT!
Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back
Lando Callrisian (Billy Dee Williams) gives in to Darth Vader
(James Earl Jones) and freezes Han Solo (Harrison Ford) in carbonite.
Han is then given to the bounty hunter Boba Fett to be delivered to
Jabba the Hutt, whom Han owes substantial debts to. Princess Liea
(Carrie Fisher) and Chewbacca (Peter Mayhew) have been told they will
remain on Bespin, but Vader decides to take them with him instead.
Meanwhile, Luke Skywalker (Mark Hammil) leaves his training with Yoda
(Frank Oz) and heads out to save his friends. Luke arrives and his
attacked by Vader, who cuts of Luke's hand. Luke is prepared to die, but
first Vader gives Luke a little information. Darth Vader didn't kill
Luke's father Anikin. Vader IS Anikin, Luke's father. Luke, heartbroken,
throws himself down a work shaft and is trapped, hangin miles above the
planet. Liead, Chewie and Lando escape from the city, but Liea is sent a
message from Luke, and they return to save him. Luke recieves a new,
robotic, hand, and Lando leaves with Chewie aboard the Millenium Falcon in the
hope to find and rescue Han.
The first half an hour they show some teens and their
recruitement in a future army of earth. (skip the first 45 minutes to be
After that they kill a billion bugs on a lonely planet. And then they
all shoot and you see blood and gutter all around.
End is that they kill a "queen" bug and save the babe who was captured
During the scene, where first stigmas appear on the wrists
of the main character, while she sits in the bath tub watching the
misterious dove flying away; just a few seconds before the actual event
takes place (spoiler is so obvious!)you can see stigmas ALREADY on the
wrists of the actress! They, according to the folowing spirit atack,
apear AFTER it...Such a beautiful, spiritual movie, but what a bummer! It
kills all the charms of it :(
Guile (jean claude van damme) and his military squad save the
day. the other fighters settle there disputes with General Bisons(raul
julia) men and help guiles solders rescue the hostages. Dee Jay and
Sagat steal suitcase full of cash when later on find out they are double
crossed with counterfeit cash with bisons face on. the other fighters
think guile is dead when the detonator goes off destroying bisons
complex but guile survives and says he needs a vacation. Its all a happy
ending but u think twice after the credits roll Bision is still alive.
Superman struggles and struggles to catch up to one of the two nuclear warheads and throws it into space. The other one goes off. There is much devastation, and Lois Lane dies. Grief-stricken, Superman turns back time by racing around the globe backwards with such speed that if he'd just gone that fast after the missiles there wouldn't BE a problem. He then lands by Lois, who is now not in any danger of an upcoming earthquake for some reason. Lex Luthor goes to jail and takes his hair off.
Superman reverses the molecular chamber so that it is the Kryptonians outside who are changed into regular humans. (For some reason, the previously excruciating process goes unnoticed by the Phantom Zone criminals.) Their powers gone, the Zone escapees fall to their deaths in the misty depths of the Fortress of Solitude (or, if you're watching the special version, you can see them being led away to jail by the arctic police). Superman then wipes away very precise bits of Lois Lane's memory by kissing her, so that she doesn't remember learning Superman's secret identity and then shacking up. This leaves her completely baffled when she's "late" the following month. (Okay, that last bit didn't happen.)
Superman blows up the computer. Michael Hutchison
Superman IV: Quest For Peace
Superman defeats Nuclear Man and puts Lex Luthor back in prison.
Gabriel IS still alive, as is Ginger, and the two are together in Monte
Carlo. There, they take the money from the account and use it to start
an anti-terrorism war by killing an Arab terrorist who bombed the U.S.
embassy in Istanbul.
The Terminator goes back in time to kill Sarah Conner. Also a
solider goes back to protect Sarah Conner. The Terminator finds 3 Sarah
Conners living within a 10 mile radius (imagine that). Systematically
starts to kill all 3 one at a time. Solider rescues the correct Sarah
Conner. Both Sarah and Solider get cornered in a press room. Solider
gets killed by Terminator. Sarah crushes Terminator in press. Spare
parts from Terminator go to sequel.
13 Days Somewhere in time in a place that seems far, far away there were some Big Bad Russkies that put some nasty rocket ships and missles in Cuba with bombs aimed at The United States. When The United States found out about this, President Kennedy and his brother Bobby got real pissed off. They tell the Russkies to move those things, or else? The Russkies say, "What things? Surely you are joking?" In a period of 13 days a lot of weird stuff happens. But just before global nuclear war is about to break out, the Russkies say, "OK, you guys, you caught us," and the Russkies remove the bombs and stuff. In the final scene Kevin Coster's small son is having breakfast with the family, and he says "Mommy, why is daddy crying?" Kevin Costner is crying because the whole world and mankind, as we know it, almost got blowed up. THE END.
Loren Richard Klahs
George Clooney, Marky Mark sans the funky bunch, some dude I
don't remember his name and a dumb hick find a map to Saddam's gold
bunker duing the end of the Iraqui war. In the process of finding the
gold for themselves, they encounter a large group of Iraqi civillians
that are about to be put to death for defying Saddam. George, Mark and
the not so funky bunch instead give up the gold to get the civillians to
safety across the Iraq/Iran border. Mistrmind
The Drej Mothership blows up,then the Titan creates a new
earth which Cale calls Bob.
Titanic Jake dies in the icy water, while rose somehow survives. Old rose throws the precious stone to the water
(yeah, she's the one who kept it all these years) and then she dies.
To Die For Larry's family hire a mob guy to kill Suzanne, and she's thrown under the ice field.
Not much to say...she sides w/ the bad guys and goes to
Siberia to look for the third piece of the triangle which will open the
doors of time and space. Battle ensues, she gets the piece but ends up
destroying the Triangle...along w/ the power to go back and forth thru
time. She kills the bad guy, goes back to her fly mansion, where she
finally decides to wear a dress, and her butler gives her her two
precious guns that she uses to practice some ass-kicking with the robot.
I smell sequel here...
Goose dies, Iceman wins the Top Gun competion. Maverick, Ice,
and a few other pilots go to a real dog fight in the pacicfic and
maverick gets the girl. pretty short hu?
Toy Story 2 Woody, Bullseye and Jessie escape being sent to Japan in a last minute rescue from the departing plane, and join Buzz and the
others at Andy's house, having decided that being loved for a while by
someone is better than life as a glassed-in exhibit. Stinky Pete (who
was going to force them all to go with him as the complete set as no
child had ever appreciated him) winds up in the hands of a particularly
"artistic" girl. The new-model Buzz Lightyear bonds with his dad,
Emperor Zurg. Rex, having "lived" the adventure, no longer feels
compelled to finish the video game. And Wheezy the penguin is fixed. (Miss) Rori
The Tijuana story:
Javier's partner Manolo (Jacob Vargas) is killed by Obregon's men when
he tries to sell information to the DEA that General Salazar's working
with the still-alive Madrigal to bring down the Obregon cartel. Javier
(Benicio el Toro) is taken in as one of Obregon's men, but ends up
telling the DEA the same things that Manolo was killed for.
The San Diego Story:
Helena (Catherine Zeta-Jones) engineers the survival of her husband's
business, and arranges for the assasination of Eduardo Ruiz (Miguel
Ferrer) before he can testify against her husband. During the first
assasination attempt, Castro (Luis Guizman) is killed in a car bomb
meant to kill Ruiz. Ruiz is later killed in his hotel room, and the
charges against Carlos Ayala (Steven Bauer) are dropped because Ruiz
can't testify against him. Ayala, after being freed, arranges Arnie
Metzger's (Dennis Quaid's) death for horning in on his business, house
and wife. Gordon (Don Cheadle) breaks into the house and pretends to
pick a fight so he can plant a bug under Ayala's desk.
The Cincinnati Story:
After finding his daughter prostituting herself to finance her drug
habit, Wakefield (Michael Douglas) breaks down during a press conference
and walks away from the drug czar job.
Trainspotting Mark takes the money and leaves his
friends penniless.. Except for Spud, of course!
The Truman Show
Truman finds out his "father" didn't really die and that the whole
world watches his life, confronts his fear of water and sails away to the real
True Romance Clarence and Alabama get away from
the shooting, and raise their child somewhere really nice. Clarence becomes a
one-eye guy, in case you're interested.
The ending of this movie should be no surprise. Throughout the
film we are confronted with James Cole's dream of seeing a man get shot
in an airport, the film implies that this man is James, the woman
Screaming is kathryn and the little boy is James as a young child. So
you are left thinking, how are they gonna get out of it.
Well the beauty of this film is they don't get out of it. James dies
just like he is supposed to. Take that Hollywood.
The good news is that the virus spreader (Dr. Goine's assistant) meets
up with the female scientist from the future who is under the guise of
being in insurance. She tells him that the destruction of humans is a
good idea and we are left assuming that she will get on his good side so
she can retrieve the antidote and bring it back with her to the future
so that her people can once again live on the surface of the Earth.
So like Sandra
Bullock has this "little drinking problem" right? She goes to her
sister's wedding and has a few mishaps like falling head first into the
wedding cake and crashing the Bride & Groom's limo into a house. Big
Deal. Then her humorless relatives stick her in rehab. So like it's
really, really gross there and she can't drink, or anything. She meets
this really, really "cute guy" (Viggo M.) but whadda' ya know...he's a
"sex addict!" Just when things are "heating up with Sandra and Viggo"
out in the barn, Sandra has to go and have a cow or something. Like,
she yells at Viggo for no good reason and he leaves her with the horses.
Later when she decides to make up with Viggo, she goes to his room only
to find Viggo shirtless with another girl doing it "doggie style." And
then, for no good reason, guess what? Sandra Bullock is all pissed
off,... "again." What's with this broad? Can't she take a joke? Then
a bunch of other stuff happens like her room-mate kills herself, and she
gets all "moody" and stuff. So then, like the 28 days pass and Sandra
Bullock gets to go back home to her apartment in New York City, where
her fiancee takes her out for "a few drinks." Here we go again, Sandra
gets all "peeved" and she tells her boyfriend "It's over!" The
boyfriend/fiancee seems a little annoyed with Sandra, after all she's
been kind of bummed out ever since she gave up drinking. So she walks
away, and he goes back to the bar to have some real fun with other
groovy chicks. It is now several months later, and Sandra wanders into
a "flower shop" where she finds one of the guys from the Re-Hab Center.
Like he's all "crying" and tearful because he's like..."gay" and can't
find a boyfriend. Also, his housplant has just died. He totally breaks
down, and Sandra puts her arm around him and they leave the "flower
shop" together in what could have been the start of yet another romance.
Only one problem. Sandra doesn't have a dick. THE END.
Loren Richard Klahs
2001: A Space Odyssey
The computor HAL (voiced by Douglas Rain) makes a wrong
calculation and Frank Poole (Gary Lockwood) and David Bowman (Kier
Dullea) decide to shut him down. But HAL seems to posses a sense of self
preservation. HAL breaks Frank's air supply and sends him flying off
into deep space. Next, HAL attempts to kill David by stranding him
outside the ship, but he breaks the air-lock and is sucked in. David
enters the main system control room and deactivates HAL. Once he is
finished, a recording plays automatically, revealing the true objective
of their mission. Mankind was created by a large rectangular peice of
solid metal, known as a "Monolith". The monolith awakened something
inside the minds of the primitive apes mind, teaching them how to start
fire, create tools, and use weapons. Scientists have found another
monolith buried under the surface of the moon and now believe that the
monolith may have come from the planet Jupiter. David travels to the
orbit of Jupiter and is sucked into a form of time-spacial vortex. The vortex is so powerful that, after it gives David a series of dream-like vision, it turns him
into a super-being, traveling the universe in a giant "bubble" of pure
Bruce willis finds out he can not be hurt which therefore
makes him a super hero, Sam Jackson's character is the complete oppisite
of Willis, which means he can be hurt by the slightest touch...So Willis
is the Hero, Jackson is the Villan "Mr. Glass"...come to find out
Jackson has created plane crashes, hotel fires, train wrecks, trying to
figure out who can survive all of these ...Willis is his
answer...Willis puts Jackson in prison
Urban Legend The
Noxzema Girl (Rebecca Gayheart) turns out to be the killer in the end. Don't
look for any foreshadowing of it though, you won't find any.Marcus Alexander Hart
The Usual Suspects "Verbal" Kint doesn't really exist, and
the bad guy is actually Keyser Soze (Kevin Spacey)
A group of teenagers make fun of the ugly boy in a valentine's
ball. He ends up in a mad's house and later in jail. Of course, he comes
back some years later for revenge. He kills all of them except one, his
girlfriend now. Or course, the killer is David Boreanaz. AH, he is
alcoholic too. Denise Richards dies in a jacuzzi during a party, by
Vertical Limit in the end of the movie the old dude killed himself in order to save chris o'donnell and his sister and by doing so killed bill paxton who had actually killed the expedition leader and the old guy's wife. and yes chris made
the big jump across the cliff's. The
The Waterboy Sandler ends up getting his
highschool degree, wins the big superbowl game thing, and marries the girl with
his mothers blessing. ell
What Lies Beneath Adultery gone bad. Michelle's character
discovers that her husband, Harrison Ford, killed his mistress to cover up his
affair, and then he tries to kill her. In the end justice prevails and the ghost
of the dead mistress gets her revenge when Harrison dies. Michael C. Wright
Four guys meet for lunch (three of them single, and one
married.) They lie to each other about their "wild and crazy" sexual
adventures. Later the three single guys all find "true love" with
Amanda Peet, a very sexy girl. You see, each one of them meet her at
different times, and they are unaware of the fact that all three of them
are dating the same hot chick. Later when the married friend finds out
about the dilemma, he goes over to her place and tells her that she is
breaking up that "old gang of mine." She tells the married guy that she
knew about this all along, and that she wanted to teach them all a
lesson about "using women for sex." She goes down on the married guy,
and later the four friends all meet for lunch.
Loren Richard Klahs
The Wild Bunch
At the end, the wild bunch fight the Mexican army cuz the
general killed Angel. Pike blows away all three generals,
and they all take the machine gun and blast away hundreds of
mexicans! mexicans flying everywhere! over 200 killed all,
u get to see. but the wild bucnh all die in the fight.
Thornton comes to late and the old wild bucnh guy and him
ride off togethjer happily
Woman on Top Okay, the gal (Pénelope Cruz) is a
Brazilian femme who gets sick (as in seasick) whenever she isn't under control,
so she has to be 'on top' (hence the title) when she has sex with her husband.
He wants to feel more manly, so he betrays her and she finds out and runs away
to the states, were she gets a hit cooking program on tv, and there's the
producer she kinda gets a thing with. But then her husband comes to get her
back, big mess, blah blah blah, paryers to their Brazilian sea goddess, blah
blah blah, she ends returning with her husband to Brazil were they re-open their
restaurant (closed while he left to get her back home) and she gets to be on top
happily ever after. Oh, and there is a hint that the producer ends with
Penélope's friend, Mónica (who is actually a guy). Gariongirl